Feb. 8th, 2017

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In the earlier seasons of the program, one of the segments was something called Male Call. What would happen is that some person would write in, ask Red for advice and get gibberish that covers up the fact that Red really doesn't know much about the world around him and is sort of terrified of having to admit ignorance. This mutated into what they called The Experts portion wherein this difficulty men like Red have with the three words "I don't know" was made the explicit point of the sketch. The reason that I mention this is that it also points out which of the recurring cast of cast-offs, goofolas and third raters is the most pathetic of the lot.

You would tend to think that it's the moron forest ranger who doesn't know anything about the woods or the semi-reformed petty criminal Red seems to have made a pet of. It's actually local junk shop owner Dalton Humphries of the fly-away hair and terrible marriage made worse by his cheese-pairing stupidity and insensitivity. Dalton seems to bring out the worst in Red because they serve as an echo chamber of cluelessness about women. The Experts that I have in mind is the one in which another well-meaning but idiotic male couldn't wrap his pea brain around Empty Nest Syndrome either. Harold tried really hard to explain that since the woman's children went away, it meant that there was a big hole in their lives but Red and Dalton just weren't able to get it because of the same reason Red doesn't want to admit that he's more or less pissing his life away in that damned lodge accomplishing nothing at all. This message was reinforced when, after twenty years of its existence, he'd finally became aware of a women's group that the wife he lives off of attends after work. He and Dalton planted a listening device in the church hall in order to hear what they had to say only to find that they didn't rate as subjects of conversation owing to the fact that the never-seen Bernice Green and her peers are functionally an assemblage of widows who lost their husbands to an eyesore fishing lodge the county wants demolished yesterday.

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