Apr. 19th, 2017

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One of the more unsettling trends one had to endure when looking at Patterson children is noticing the enthusiasm girls showed when eating dirt. We started with Lizzie being a dirt connoisseur, spent years having April treat dirt like the other white meat and ended with Meredith tricking Robin into eating dirt so he can see that it tastes better than chocolate. This leads us to how Mike and Robin are pitied for finding dirt to be terrible tasting and also something that you just shouldn't wat.

This, like many other bad things, is due to Little Lindy Ridgway being so enthused and enthralled by the pretend comestibles she made in the backyard of her home that she started to prefer them to actual food. While this is a natural lead-in to jokes about how old dog crap is more delectable than Elly's swill, it leaves me worried that the resultant damage to her taste buds might be why she subsists on beer and snack foods.

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