dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
Of course, assuming that Elly simply doesn't like the idea that people who aren't her or people she trusts to make her children adopt her values as a reason for her war against peer pressure requires her to actually understand the problem at all. For all her smugness and refusal to understand how futile, stupid and destructive it is to try to hollow out her thirteen year old daughter Holly and fill her with jaded forty year old, Val Stone at least has the sense to resent the fact that the same sort of skinny little bitches she hated as a kid are still plying their unholy trade. Elly might not see what's actually happening because she has a hard time understanding what's going on right in front of her.

This is where the strip where she archly declared that a math question had the answer "Don't throw things off of overpasses" comes in handy. She is, after all, the author avatar of a woman who's so otherworldly, she cannot and will not see the world of difference between Gordon cackling with malicious delight at the prospect of flash-frying a spider and a dumb animal who can't know right from wrong gobbling it up so it's very possible that she doesn't understand who's to blame for the problem with the shirt. She sure doesn't seem to understand that her children fear and resent her so anything's possible.
dreadedcandiru2: (Default)

As we know, we are weeks away from Summer Vacation and the many disappointments and discontents inherent therein. While normally, I’d focus on Elly howling in despair because she can’t quite admit that the evil monsters plotting to steal her identity are the unimaginative slug children who need a spotter to remind them to breathe we see, today, I’d like to focus on how Mike never seemed to have a summer break he really enjoyed the way television told him he was supposed to.

This is because despite how Deanna has him conned into thinking that his childhood actually was the carefree romp that John believed it to be, the plain turth is that no sooner did Mike get away from one set of oooooold people who hated fun and thus enjoyed every minute of tormenting children with rules and work for a couple of months of the carefree days he was told he was going to have than did his parents either shove a rake in his hand and call him a shiftless and ungrateful freeloader or act as if he was some kind of monster child that no one should love for objecting to being thought of as a burden that was draining their substance.

The reason that I mention this is that since Elly completely lacks anything like self-awareness, she’s probably wondering why it is that Mike seems to want to destroy his kids’ summers forcing them to work and work and work. Now that she’s not a parent any longer, childhood should be for fun and happiness and freedom from corrosive nagging that makes children feel like crap. 

dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
Of course, the need to hide the fact that they see the kids seeking advice from friends and other adults as a cruel and heartless betrayal of their long-suffering and martyred selves is not the only means by which John and Elly have made a horrible mes of raising their teen-aged children. While it does make sense to talk about how they continue witlessly on getting bees in their drawers yowling about horrible rebelliousness that they need to recover from when referring to their discreditable inability to cope with the 'evil' concept of the kids having a difference of opnion, it would make more sense to discuss what most of the pointless and idiotic arguments rotate around: a huge-ass wad of envy that denies how much it has always sucked to be an adolescent.

From Mike's point of view, the problem was obvious: his voice was stating to crack, he felt unhappy all the time for a reason he couldn't put into words, his knees ached, he felt hungry all the time and his face started to resemble the surface of Mars. What made things worse were two idiot parents who insisted that these were going to be the happiest years he would ever had because of their dim-brained belief that the travails of adolescence were banished from the world forever on their twentieth birthdays. Given their ludicrous and fatuous fragility, his honest admission that he felt like crap all the time clearly meant that he was a rebellious and ungrateful monster trying to stir up drama over nothing because the alternative would be admitting that they suffer from a recto-cranial loop-back. This meant that unlike most parents of high school kids who get only so much pissed off at kids who say the same fucking dumb things to them they did to their folks because they know said lecturing boob will be in their shoes anon, they join the generation of helpless and shiftless idiots the post-war set blighted the world with in thinking that they were the first people ever to have kids who disagreed with them about anything.
dreadedcandiru2: (Default)

As we know, we’re about to enter the period in which John and Elly soil thmeselves in terror when confronted with the amazingly easy to control not-really-a-menace-as-such teenagers that they’re completely fucking up raising. The evidence of my eyes suggests that aside from changing his opinion about girls, Mike is still the same goofball who makes his own rules because his parents never bothered setting them but John is all about the bad attitude the kid has. Years ago, I mde an asinine comment about how April’s becoming one of “THEM!!” meant that she too pointed  at the Pattermanse and made the PU gesture when contemplating the stupidity that went on therein. It would seem that I was closer that i know to the truth.

This is because when John growls about bad attitudes and Elly panicks about dangerous body language and information, what we’re looking at is a pair of whimpering,weak-as-water simpletons who regard the simple and harmless fact that they are not going to be the only influences on their kids as a personal attack. Watching that nincompoop Elly cry bitter tears about how Lizzie was totally rejecting her poor mother when she seeks out someone else’s advice gave the game away. Oh, Elly and John can dress it up all they want but they’re just two dimbrained boomers who wanna be the bride at every funeral and the corpse at every wedding.

dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
The irritating thing about the on-going battle to get Mike to muck out his bedroom is that John and Elly don't actually really enforce the punishment they imposed on him. As we saw, Michael only gets his allowance when he picks stuff up. This is a good start but, sadly, there are two flaws to their scheme. The first flaw is that they don't quite go far enough and didn't forbid him from going to the local shops even if he were to somehow earn the money to buy things. That would have been the first thing my parents did in that instance and their inability to simply bar him from buying stuff and make that stick seems like a damaging oversight.

The second is sort of wrapped up in the first and has to do with stopping him from earning money in another way. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to them that he'd try to bum money off of Lizzie because it's obvious that he thinks that the only thing stopping him from buying a Goo Bar is not having enough cash because that's the only thing stopping him from doing so. If he knew that he'd get into trouble for pawning Teddy or going to the store, he might actually pick stuff up but their penalty is weak and he learned nothing.
dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
The interesting thing about the month of March 1988 is that it's dominated by Lizzie losing one of her baby teeth. We have the usual stupid hijinks from Mike, the predictable conclusion in which Elly wishes that her children would stop all of this aging nonsense until she's ready to deal with them and, of course, Lizzie doing something stupid that makes Elly's life a bit harder than it would otherwise be. Said dumb thing is swallowing her tooth by mistake because she wants to actually meet the tooth fairy despite Elly's trying really hard to get her to do things normally so that sh....the tooth fairy doesn't want to go on a bloody expedition.

This leads to a repetition of an old theme: Elly and John never seem to want to admit to themselves that the accident-prone dullards they raise aren't doing all the stupid things they do on purpose. Just as next year, we will be reminded that Elly can't understand that her unfailing habit of yelling at her children for messing up and never offering anything like reassurance is why Lizzie is afraid of her, the deluded donkey wants to think terrible things about small children because she's a child herself really. It's not that Lizzie is a little kid doing a dumb thing for a little kid reason; it's that Lizzie is an evil monster who hates her pooooooooor mother and wants to make her life hard because otherwise, Mommy is making her life worse by being pointlessly upset like her evil mommy says.
dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
While this current arc might look as if it's the last one in which Mike's career in peewee hockey might be important, the fact is that the last big hockey arc doesn't even feature him hitting the ice. This is because his having the attribute of hockey player is used as fodder for an arc in which Elly can't say no to a call to public action because of an overweening need to impress people. Between then and now, though, there is one strip that shines a harsh light on a mother who does something she'd rather not do accidentally revealing what she really thinks of having to be there for her kids.

Said strip has Elly cheerfully tell a vaguely disappointed Michael that the reason she's looking forward to that night's game is that it's the last one of the season. Mike likes the idea of playing hockey and he'd like it if she liked it too because it would mean that she liked him too but she's not smart or nice enough a person to see this. All she can do is play that stupid zero-sum game that makes his interests an attack on her person and remind him of this every chance she can. The end result is a person who makes a lot of noise about being physically present but misses the point of being there.
dreadedcandiru2: (Default)
As we know, John seems to be content to keep himself at arm's length from the rest of his family's concerns. He justifies this stupid, chicken-hearted habit of letting Elly do all the heavy lifting because as someone of conservative temperament, he regards it as being her function in life to ride herd over the kids while he sits on his fat ass cowering behind a newspaper or on his stupid workshed. HOW he describes this is especially telling. As one of his letters about the chaos of the Housening that could have been mitigated had he the courage and decency to step in tells us:

All I can do is withdraw mentally a bit from the whole scene, become an observer, and try not to have any feelings about the situation.

Translated from Pompous Ass to Regular Person, what he, as I've said before, meant is that he doesn't actually want to get to know the people around him because it would 'muss up' his mind by having the evidence of his senses contradict his prejudices. He's been married to Elly for forty-six years or so but my gut tells me that he still hasn't the least fucking clue who she actually is because learning would make him out to be a closed-minded doughhead who actually was the bad guy. This seems to extend to the children he never actually bothered getting to actually meet or learn about. He sends them to farms to adjust attitudes and makes sweeping generalizations about people who he doesn't know and never wanted to.

The reason that I mention this is that despite it being next to impossible to care about someone as contemptible and dim as John, simple human decency mandates that one wish that it could have been otherwise. The world around him would have been immeasurably better if he hadn't stayed the oafish cluck who was too Goddamned chickenhearted to get off his ass, risk being proven wrong and be more than a dollar sign with a pulse.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
The interesting thing about the Pattersons and their relationship to motor vehicles is that for some odd reason, John and Elly make a point of making it next to impossible for their children to participate in their automotive world. What generally happened up until they managed to afford their own ride is:

1) Patterson child really needs to go somewhere.
2) Patterson child is forced to rely on the (illusory) good will of his/her mother/father to get there.
3) John and/or Elly act like surly jerks because they think having to unclench their sphincters and go somewhere they don't usually go at a time they're usually at home is some horrible sacrifice.
4) John and/or Elly bristle at the idea of letting the kids have access to transport of their own because of an exaggerated and/or mistaken belief that their children are trying to bankrupt them.

What John and Elly don't see (because they have not much in the tank brain-wise) is that their default refusal to see that their surly need to dictate how the kids get where they need to get is going to backfire on them. Mike's wanting to believe that the bus company is also going to charge the earth to get where he needs to go because adults like his dad want it that way is a symptom of John's short-sightedness. Elly's imbecile refusal to pay to fix Liz's car directly to her getting a motorbike so it too is a symptom of a Patterparent being a dimwit. Ah, well. At least they get their own back when she wants to impress strangers and jam it to Mira being generous. They put their cars in the garage and leave Mrs "Only MY Time Is Important" out in the driveway chipping away ice as she bellows like the idiot she is and brandishes an ice scraper like a sceptre of failure and shit-for-brains stupidity.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
I don't think that I'm alone here when I don't especially sympathize with John's whining screeching about wanting more out of life than what he's got right now. He's got a lucrative job, he's got a wife willing to put up with his bullshit, he's got kids, he's got a great house that's paid for and he can afford to indulge in stupid hobbies so you'd think that he'd have the brains to admit that he's winning so hard, the scoreboard has turned to diamond. He isn't, though. He's filled with malaise because despite his having the world at his command, he believes that he's not free like Mike is.

You see, John suffers from a common psychological complaint: the belief that childhood is a lot better than it actually is. As I've said before, it never seems to occur to him that it's always been a very bad thing to be a kid. Kids don't get a Hell of a lot of control over what happens to them, they don't know what's going on and they spend most of their time confused and terrified so only someone stupid would think that someone low-down like the Mike of the Middle Years is a figure you could possibly envy. I blame his addiction to media imagery that depicts a false and stupid vision of childhood designed primarily to sell kids shit they don't need by flattering them into thinking they're cooler than they could ever possibly be.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
It doesn't take much brainpower to have to realize that John and Elly's 'support' as regards homework consisted mostly of berating their children about how 'easy' something ineptly explained to them was. Always and ever, we had moronic asides about how the children had a bad study attitude because they didn't want to spend hours on end missing out on fun scribbling what looked like useless nonsense that would never do them any good to placate a surly grouch who mocks them and can't be pleased ever. If they wanted that, they could stay the Hell home and be berated by their folks.

What John and Elly fail to quite understand is that certain people in this world are a public service announcement against being something or doing something. Usually, they fail to understand that their default refusal to look as if they can enjoy things owing to the dim-witted misapprehension that to be taken seriously, they must never smile or laugh lest the children think them a joke means that their children make a point of avoiding things that they could all like because their moron parents have to look as if things they love are a grim slog that no one can enjoy. When this mental deficiency is projected outward, it results in their not quite getting that the kids make the connection between the subject matter being taught and the clodhopper teaching it and come away with the idea that learning geography will turn you into a high-strung and punitive freak like Blais or a surly lardass like Warren.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
One of the more irritating things that I have to look at when I read a teens-are-monsters strip is watching the moron parents wail that their childre don't smile anymore and don't seem to love them as much as they did when they were younger and more docile. I should think that the comic strip "Stone Soup" hints as to why this is.

This is because every so often, we have to deal with the irrational and stupid fallacy "Holly wants to focus on something she can actually do something about therefore she can't care about something she can't be rationally expected to be able to do anything about" with the same sort of regularity that John makes hateful noise about problem hair. At one point, Holly flat out said that while she did actually worry about the big picture concerns that Val uses as a stick to beat her over the head with, there ain't much a middle school student can actually do so she'd rather focus on a problem she can solve instead of burning her life away because Mommy wants to heap too much on her.

This, as one could expect, meant less than nothing to Val because she doesn't see herself as she is any more than the Pattersons do. While Holly can be a pain in the ass who puts too much stock in clothes, make up and boys, she is right to state that Valerie does indeed expect far too much of her. This is something Val has in common with John because he doesn't realize that one of the reasons Liz was moody is that adults like him seem to be doing nothing to fix the problems he invokes because he assumes that it's not only her job to be an emotional crutch, it's on her to clean up his generation's mess right now so he can take credit for her hard work.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
Given that most syndicated comic strips seem to be by, of and for small-minded people stuck in the past, it should come as no real surprise that the Pattersons aren't unique in preaching the Teens-as-monsters gospel that litters the page. We get to why that is when Mike sort of hugs Elly but doesn't want to be seen doing it because it might get him razzed by the guys. This points us to something that none of the adults in the strip want to have to face.

This same phenomenon is pointed to when we have to remember the depressingly stupid spectacle of Elly bawling her eyes out because Lizzie went to a stranger with her problems instead of turning to Mommy like a little kiddie of two years old with a booboo. Simply put, at some point, children start to see their parents as part of the problem instead of part of the solution because they see themselves as being more mature than they are and make the mistake of thinking that what's happening to them is happening for the first time to anyone ever. Mike can't be the smiling, upbeat creature people shopping for an emotional crutch need because he thinks that he's being unfairly held down. The problem is that this leads to his being unfairly held down because his parents are boomer morons who never outgrew the adolescent habit of thinking that they're the first people ever to have to had to deal with a moody goofola of a kid.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As you know, I came up with fake bios for the family that were more or less the nightmare fantasy Elly has tormented herself with since 1977. In said bios, she and John are destined to be forgotten and despised by children who will actually stand around looking gutted and wondering what it said about them that they didn't do all the nice stuff they're doing for their parents NOW when they were alive to appreciate it.

The reason why I did this is that for reasons that are probably silly, Elly and John are at pains to present an image of gravity at all times around their offsprings and small ones. I can count on the thumbs of one hand the times that the children have ever had a clue that Mom and Dad are capable of enjoying life because it's sort of obvious that the paranoid twits they call parents think that if the children see them laugh, they can't ever be taken seriously ever again.

As I said before the last time I talked about this, the end result is that Mike, Liz and April spent entirely too long thinking that grown-ups have the ability to enjoy life surgically removed and wish to delay the inevitable end result of yearning for sweet, sweet death like John and Elly do. Given that John and Elly are too stupid to understand that their endless negativity is why their kids do this because they are poor at understanding how they look to other people and they're raising their kids to be as dumb as crap too, we can look forward to an indeterminate future in which the Elly of 2020 wonders why her grandchildren ask her why Mike and Liz were born boring, awful and forty.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
The interesting thing about Elly's lack of self-awareness is that it comes into play in one of the most infuriating arcs to ever involve Farley. We establish things with the pooch bulking up because the idiots are overfeeding him like the idiots they are. While we stop along the way to get a dumb joke about how Elly's horrible children are somehow making her obsessively wolf down their leftovers and a mean-spirited crack from John, we establish the first irritating premise: having to actually walk Farley is a horrible burden that no one wants but has to do anyway because Elly yells louder than they can.

The arc proper begins with Lizzie getting the leash tangled on something because she doesn't really know what she's doing. When she unhooks it, Farley runs off after a stray cat and Lizzie angrily blames Farley for her own lack of smarts and inability to control him. She then encounters Christopher and Richard who are pretty much as much use as a screen-door in a submarine owing to their tendency to feed into her fear that Elly and John will disown her for losing the dog. She sits there hiding away for an hour of misery only to get an angry lecture about wandering off when the dog has been on the porch the whole time.

Why does this anger me, you might ask? Is it that Christopher and Richard are useless jerks? Is it that Farley is a despised punching bag? Is it that Lizzie lives in fear of her mother's rages? Yes, but there's something else that really irritates me. Said irritant is the unpleasant realization that if Lizzie were to ever explain what went on, she would either not be believed (which is bad) or get an angry lecture about lying about what kind of person her mother is. Remember, Elly simply does not see the high-strung, thin-skinned, inflexible, short-tempered and judgmental nag everyone else sees when they think of her and forcing her to confront her real self anger her. Since we know Lizzie won't be forgiven for this, you can understand why I'm angry.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
Of course, authoritarian nincompoops like John have help in trying to suppress dissent. For every little tin god who wants to shout down children who question his unearned advantage, there's a sentimental dope like Elly who thinks she can cajole a child into being happy. This is because she also misunderstand what venting means but for a different reason. Unlike her bonehead husband who wants obedience, she looks at a problem like Molly and wants to help her realize that she has no rational reason to be angry and lost and miserable while not realizing that people like her are why Molly feels as if no one understands her.

The reason I mention this is why I believe she tried becoming a mentor to Gayle. As I said, it's fairly obvious that Elly had it (and still has it) in her head that if Molly saw Gayle fitting in and having a nice time of things in Milborough, Molly would realize that she should abandon the belief that she was a misunderstood loner and accept the love in Connie's great big heart and so on and so forth. This belief cannot even be dignified by calling it wrong because anyone with a brain is going to realize that instead of seeing herself as the problem, Molly is going to see herself as being surrounded by pod people who tell her to bow down and worship the horrible woman next door.

This is going to confuse Elly because her inability to understand what she looks like means that she isn't going to understand that Molly is going to double down on seeing her as a meddling, malicious idiot trying to ruin Molly's life by turning everyone against her. The reason, of course, is rather depressingly simple; since she's never been in Molly's position, Elly can't understand how she'd feel. She might think she does because she misunderstood what the problem was but she really doesn't.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As you know, Elly has severe difficulty understanding the viewpoint of the people around her. I've spent damned near ten years commenting on the fact that she gets confused and angered when having to deal with the idea that people either have experienced things she has not or have not experienced things she has. She doesn't seem to want to understand that merely because she sees time as zipping by before she can even begin to catch up, it doesn't mean that her children are trying to trick her when they see time as dragging on forever. The sort of indignant squawking about how her kids must be lying because time hasn't dragged on like slow torture since she was six or so and they know it because it also zips by far too quickly for them is indicative of what it is that keeps her from being able to communicate with other people. Since she always assumes that her immediate perspective is the only valid one and that no one is capable of experiencing anything in any sort of different way, the deluded boomer numbskull almost always makes an ass of herself when she talks to kids.

This is, of course, owing to her charming tendency to not understand the odd concepts called 'etiquette' or 'reality' when doing so gets in the way of her feeling right. A normal person would know to not take sides in a break-up (especially when it's forced) because she doesn't have all the facts at hand. St Elli, Guardian Spirit Of Being A Blundering Ass doesn't see that as being a good thing because she thinks every messed-up relationship is her own screwed-up dalliance with a succession of boys who either saw her as a clingy and pathetic joke or, due to her volatile personality and her veteran dad with a low tolerance for hippies, as a threat to their person. Since being rejected by someone is the only way she's ever been on the other side of a break-up, she assumes that this boy has cruelly dumped her.

She also assumes something manifestly not the case when she tells herself that she's doing a good thing telling her to flush this boy because she's certain that she would have wanted someone like her to come along and tell her the same thing back then. This sort of nonsense is why there is the phrase 'not even wrong.' We don't know much about her past other than maundering about tear-stained pillows when the longed-for ones wound up in the clutches of the dangerous body language squadron but we do know that she probably still resents her mother for making the same sort of dismissive cheering-up she's pulling now and we know that no girl in Molly's position is going to go "Gee! You're right! I should simply go on with my life because he isn't the be-all and end-all of existence! I apologize to everyone for having inconvenient feelings and will now join the pep squad!" because that's not how they roll. To assume otherwise because it would make life easier is to deliberately misunderstand a fundamental fact and be not even wrong.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
The problem with the Trash Bag John arc is that it reminds me of where we'll be in a year and a half: watching Elly yell at Farley because they unintentionally trained him to eat garbage. This is because their irritating refusal to keep track of where the poor dim animal is leads to the undesirable behavior of his rooting through the garbage looking for something yummy. This allows us to use the situation as sort of a template to explain why it is that the Pattersons are not good at problem solving. As always, the situation can be broken down into discreet steps.

First off, we have the undesirable behaviour I just mentioned. It's an infernal nuisance to have to pick up garbage that some animal has just spread all over the place so I can understand their frustration. What I also understand is that they set themselves up to fail by refusing to be especially vigilant owing to an unhappy tendency to assume that if they aren't thinking about him, he isn't doing anything.

Next, we have Elly's solution to the problem which, as almost always, is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the issue and a refusal to admit error. We start things off with her baffling assumption that Farley knows that she wants the garbage kept in bags and is just doing that to be mean to her, follow with her inability to understand that standing around holding a can of Alpo while screaming at him makes him think that dog food is screaming at him in a can and end with her belief that accepting that Farley can never understand what she's saying is a defeat.

We follow that with someone proposing a solution that can actually work and its graceless acceptance by people who see doing the sensible thing as giving up. This leads to Elly growling about kids wanting what other people have and eventually, her standing around bellowing NO!! while holding an ice scraper like a sceptre of futile rage when she cannot have her cake and eat it too.

Finally, we deal with the fact that there's another problem to contend with: idiot parents who, through their tendency to scream and holler, have raised passive children who don't understand that garbage doesn't walk itself to the bin. No sooner do they get the bin made than the kids turn it into a fort and we're back where we started. Nothing ever goes anywhere because the problem is not the dog, the problem is the idiot owners.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
Of course, the real problem with the Peeping Mike arc is that it highlights a dilemma John and Elly brought on themselves by being stupid parents. This eternal battle against having the kids stay home during the Summer seems, as all things, to be a multi-stage omnishambles that has distinct subcomponents of stupidity:

  1. Since Michael is stupid, lazy, anger-prone and misogynistic, he doesn't ever spend his summers doing anything constructive. Sooner or later, he finds a way to spend his time that outrages and inconveniences his family.
  2. John and Elly have no interest in policing Mike's behaviour because they have lives.
  3. John and Elly are inept fools who believe that exposure to magic will make him wonderful.
  4. This means that they end up making Mike's idiocy someone else's problem.
  5. Since he cannot be with his friends and he's also exposed to the change he hates more than anything else, this convinces Mike that his parents hate the idea of his being happy because they're too old to enjoy life any longer.
  6. Go back to Step One.


This is why next year, Mike ends up getting packed off to summer camp in order to instill in him a love of nature that will somehow make him the grinning gumdrop they want instead of the sullen goof their ineptitude would have to create. This is why doing chores that he hates all the next summer further convinces him that they're Nazis who hate happiness. This is why they get him a job in order to keep out of trouble and why he ends up thinking even more that his parents are too old to laugh and enjoy life and want to punish him for still being able to do so. This, finally, is why they hit on the idea of sending him and his siblings off to that damned farm. The idea seems to be to cut him off from the familiar surroundings and familiar friends and anything that would allow him to feel as if his opinion matters. Exposing him to horned cattle, grain and old people who look down on him and lecture him will somehow make of him the pliable drone that they think they want. Ah, well. Evil people pay for their sins sooner or later and since they got what they wanted, they're finding out that they were fools to want it.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
I just realized something the other day. According to Wikipedia, we're about a month away from a period I've long anticipated: Elly running her damned fool mouth about how she expects to wake up dead every morning because she's sixty-five years old. On 28 August of this year, Elly will reach that arbitrary milestone and stand around belly-aching that her life is all used up and she never got anything that she wanted to do done because her awful children got in her way. She'll claim it's different for fellow boomer half-wit John because despite being closer to the grave, he can at least look back on having made a recognizable difference. Appeals to her having been Mike's muse or comments about how tuition is reduced for mature students or anything that involves lighting a candle will go unheard because Elly would rather curse the darkness.

The problem, of course, is that she isn't going to get any sympathy that isn't Connie Poirier. Everyone else will have remembered her being a very poor sport fifteen years ago when she wanted to avoid having a fiftieth birthday party. You and I and most of them see themselves as celebrating the happy occasion of a friend living to fifty and having many happy years of positive accomplishments ahead of her. Elly exists in the world of darkness Connie thinks Molly lived in and saw them as either about to introduce her to Dr Kevorkian or to stuff her in a gimp suit, winch her up to the ceiling and blast the shit out of her with a laser beam as they chant "Renew! Renew!" owing to this irritating habit she has of looking in the mirror, wondering when she got so oooooold, claiming that five years ago, she felt young and screaming at people with the temerity to tell an evil lie about how five years ago, she felt young five years earlier than that.

The upshot is that most people get tired of the crazy, angry woman making the same annoying, self-pitying speech in lieu of actually doing something about a problem and will probably make nasty jokes behind her back about how her grave marker will read "I told you I was sick but no one listens."

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