dreadedcandiru2: (Default)

As I said last time, the reason we never see Molly or Gayle again is that Lynn decided that at twelve years of age, Michael was finally old enough a character that she would be able to nag Aaron about dating girls who gave her the creeps. Wile it was her own choice to send her son unsubtle messages about predatory girls with dangerous body language, it would have been slightly more plausible if the alleged gold-digger Elly panicked about the most were herself not a thirteen-year old slip of a girl. 

There are, of course, two reasons for this moronic fiasco. The first is the idiotic age gap she can’t or won’t admit that she blundered into by not bothering to pay attention to her immediate surroundings. She’s probably convinced herself that she planned ll along to  make her characters three years younger but persuing the catalog and remembering her need to have the Patterson children do age-inappropraite things because she wanted to  rebuke Aaron and Katie right then and there make that a lie.

The second is that she always seems to have needed a male companion even when she was in her first decade of life. While her peers were fearing cooties and ickiness, Lindy Ridgway had it in her head that she wasn’t worth the effort of feeding if she didn’t have a man in her life all her life. This mental peculiarity led to her angrily over-reacting and banishing Deanna for a decade because someone told her something she didn’t want to hear about how normal people behave.

dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
One of the most irritating aspects of the Housening that wasn't the point-blank refusal to treat April like a person with legitimate concerns was the baffling and stupid whining Deedoormat did about how Mike's cushy job as a middle-management type was going to kill him stone dead. According to the most comically inept pharmacist ever, commuting and spending all day whimpering about the unfairness of actually having to decide things was the moral equivalent of the Bataan death march. The reason that this irritated me is that we're dealing with the imbecilic echo of the Early Years that posited the fact that being a dentist was slowly killing John by being soooooo exhausting, he HAD to stumble into the house looking like something that got chewed up and spat out.

This, if I might be allowed a measure of whimsy, is the result of a collision between balder and dash at the intersection of Crazy and Stupid. Every God-damned day, Mike and John stumbled into their houses as if they'd never worked a day in their lives after doing rather light work. Since dealing with the public and shuffling papers isn't really all that taxing despite being subjected to the horror of being told what to do and to not deviate from instructions even if it was 'boring', the only reason that either of them should look like the walking dead is if they'd picked up a bug or something so we add a measure of insult to the implausibility.

Given that Lynn's blathering about over-work seems to have always been code for her need to keep Rod from working at all because of her need to be taken care of, I should think that we're dealing with her projecting her own feeling that being bossed and not being able to do whatever whenever by someone who wants her to suffer or whatever onto him because of her inability to realize that people might actually like working. Having her understand that people actually look forward to getting up and doing things is as difficult as making her understand people working towards a long-term goal when it's as obvious to her that not being instantly good at something is bad and wrong or whatever.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As we pretty much all know, a kindergarten class isn't going to be supervised by just the teacher because the kids cannot be left unsupervised. In most jurisdictions, a real-life Miss Lyon is going to have back-up in the form of a teacher's aide and a volunteering parent or two. Given that when the strip began, Lynn lived in a very small town and thus didn't have access to that sort of thing, her lack of curiosity and imagination made her believe that since she didn't see this sort of thing, it didn't exist no matter what people might try to tell her. That being said, she eventually became aware of the phenomenon when April came into the picture. The problem is that the woman seems to be depicted not as a necessary part of the process but as a sort of apathetic interloper shanghaied into being somewhere she has no place being. This, I should think, is owing to her being the creation of an unreflective dough-head who simpers that since they didn't have people like that when she was a child, they're not needed in the here and now. Besides, what could happen to a bunch of tinies if they were left to their own devices?
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
The other day, someone raised a very good point about how Lynn seems to see the world. Said point is that while there are allowed to be such things as step-families, there doesn't seem to be much room for joint custody in the strip. What happens in most cases is that one spouse abandons the other and becomes a distant presence in his or her children's lives. We started off with Greg's first wife taking off and only coming back into her daughter's lives after they were grown women and ended with Liz making her stupid comment about how she isn't her but she's here. The reason, I should think, is that we're dealing with Lynn not wanting to believe in something that she never experienced. Since Doug was a distant influence in Aaron's life and since she's at pains to assume that everyone's life experience is exactly like her own, the common-place of an ex reminding someone she likes that it's his or her week with the kid is not one she can believe in. Also, she'd as soon not risk being told about letters that tell her that said ex is a better parent than a Pattersaint.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
The very odd thing about the whole stupid mess with Phil, Georgia and Connie is that for some reason, it's assumed that Phil is obliged to spend time talking to Connie even though no such obligation actually exists. Phil isn't supposed to be allowed to stand around like a galoot making Georgia feel awkward and stupid merely because he had a tepid non-relationship that died of natural causes and Georgia isn't a jealous freak for not wanting to have to put up with that sort of tasteless behaviour. If this sounds at all familiar, let's remind ourselves that Evil Career Woman Thérèse is depicted as being a jealous and irrational monster who hated Liz for no reason because she questioned the necessity of Anothony and Liz talking about old times as if her feelings didn't and weren't supposed to matter. This, as has been said, is an attempt by the author to tell herself that she was one hundred percent blameless in the collapse of her first marriage. It wasn't that she was cheating on Doug with Rod, it was him and his big-chested women laughing at her for wanting to be happy. Since we're dealing with a woman who never can see what she does as being wrong, a grotesque and inconsiderate faux pas became a sacrament.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
Last Tuesday's reprint which led off with Mike just hauling off and screaming at the top of his lungs about the insect problem is an example of a visual image we see far too often in the strip: characters just plain blowing their stacks and hollering at the first tiny sign of a reverse. Doesn't matter what the problem is or how big it is; if it gets in the way, a Patterson's first impulse is to holler like a maniac instead of doing something useful.

As I mentioned before, Lynn's reasoning is that watching people explode all the time is a lot funnier than watching quiet people behave sensibly. The downside is that, as was also mentioned, Lynn never seems to notice that when they do that, it's sort of difficult to really feel sorry for the characters because they look like a group of loud, spoiled children who never learned how to behave in public. This might be okay in a cartoon but since we're supposedly dealing with people you and I might actually meet, what's funny when Donald Duck does it is sort of pathetic and scary when a normal-looking person does it.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
A few weeks ago, we were treated to a strip in which Elly stood there being defeated by her evil, chaos-worshipping, mother-hating daughter who declared that she needed to deny Elly the happiness of putting her hair up in a ponytail. It might look like a strip in which a goofy boomer lost sight of the fact that her child is a person in her own right with her own tastes but since we're dealing with a vengeful clod of an artist, the accompanying Lynnsight that had our hero whine piteously about how Katie learned to put her hair up in a style Lynn likes without having her loving mother help her kind of spells it out. We're dealing with a person who sees a child learning to do something on her own in order to somehow please the crazy woman who she calls a mother and comes to the stupid conclusion that she's doing it to be a jerk to her poooooooooooor, long-suffering mother who only asks the Earth and everything in it. Never does Lynn have the least inclination to see that people aren't trying to crush her because she assumes that they all have her overweening need to pulverize people for daring to tell the EVIL LIE!!!!!!!!!!! that people are individuals and all see the world in a different way than she does when it's clear to her that all understand as she does.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As we all know, Lynn simply refuses to get over the fact that a lot of librarians don't like having someone as low on the totem pole as Elly is getting to go to the big thing in Winnipeg when people who actually are librarians instead of glorified temps like she is have to stay home so that Elly can be given free stuff for being a Patterson. What they tend to not want to admit to themselves is that to the public at large, Elly has just as much right to go there because their property taxes pay all of their salaries and it would be a waste if no one went merely because all she has is an MRS degree.

The problem that I have with this argument is that I really don't think that these iron-grey facts would make much of an impression on Lynn's mind. To do so, they'd have to be wedged in between her paranoid assurance that her classmates from elementary school are still lying in wait to tease her about a test answer she got wrong fifty years after the fact and her insistence on how the mean old picky-faces at her local library want her to writhe on the floor and crawl through the mud and grovel for a forgiveness that will be forever withheld and all of that other idiotic nonsense that she seems to burden herself with.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As we've come to know, Lynn can get awfully defensive when she's called on something by people, unlike her, know what they're talking about on a given issue. The most recent example of this is her whining about the mean old picky-face librarians have no sense of human and belong in cages because they object to having someone who's pretty much the tin freaking dog being sent to the librarian's workshop when an actual librarian was there to get to go to Winnipeg. As I've said on the matter, what matters to her is that she needs some reason to get Elly to take her free trip to Away From Her Children and her sinecure non-job at the library is pretty much the only game in town. The problem that I have is that it looks to me as if we're getting our first glimpse at a trend that was a hallmark of what I call the Declining Years: the annoying habit that people had of just handing Pattersons thigns that they didn't earn because the Pattersaints are awesome and deserve a break. Too bad that it wasn't the first example of Lynn not realizing that she had to put things in her strip that explained things in a more fortunate matter. It would have taken no time to have Susan say that neither she nor Monique could go but Lynn was too pressed for time to not make Elly look lucky.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
As we've seen throughout the strip's history, Lynn seems to have something of an obsession with the idea of first crushes leading from the schoolyard to the altar. This is not only we had to endure the Settlepocalypse and the Great Big Fake Wedding, it's why the only 'downbeat' moment of the Strip of Destiny was the part wherein April dated her country boy when it was clear that her real destiny should have been to become a marginally-competent small animal vet married to the Continental.

What it also tells us is that part of the process of undoing John would be to not only blather witlessly about how he was an evil cheating cheater who cheated all along but to somehow magically reintroduce Elly's first love Colin Winch. As we all know, he originally thought of her as being a goofy, annoying kid who had a sloppy, stupid, snark-worthy crush on him and she eventually thought of him as a sort of Warren to give raspberries to. Were the strip still a going concern, that would have to change so that Lynn could beat Rod and Doug over the head with the fact that there was one man out there that would have stayed true. Colin would thus mutate into a sort of super-Anthony.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
Of course, Lynn herself has a fact or two about herself that she doesn't want to admit to. One of these facts is that she really doesn't have a handle on how children see the world around them. We're going to be reminded of that in a year's time when we have to contend this particular strip. As you can see, the premise behind it is "Lizzie knows that since she's three feet tall, her perspective is abnormal and distorted. Were she the same size as Elly, she would see the world the way she is supposed to and clearly wants to but since she's small, everytthing looks wrong."

I think that it's safe to say that no child thinks that way at all. A real Lizzie would see herself as being normal and seeing the world the way she's supposed to and the only reason that she would be said to think otherwise is if her actions were being interpreted by someone who thinks "If I were that size, I'd think that the world would look all wrong so she clearly must also think that the world looks distorted and weird." This sort of thing is why she occasionally has to deal with baffling comments from picky-faces about how off-putting and wrong the way the characters behave can be.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru2)
Before I speculate on what I would expect to see were Lynn to actually show us a custody hearing, I'd like to remind you all of a few things. The first thing is that as the 'trial' of Howard Bunt showed us, Lynn knows next to nothing about how the law actually works in the Dominion of Canada. We all of us remember how [livejournal.com profile] howtheduck listed off the factual inaccuracies so we don't really need to go into them. The second thing I'd like to remind you of is how John's ignorant blathering about how things took too long showed us how little she actually cared. What this means is that if Lynn were to write a custody hearing, it follows that it would be a ridiculous travesty meant to promote very bad ideas.

Bad Idea Number One is to establish once and for all that Thérèse is a Very Bad Person who can't love anyone because she gets in the way of the Pattersons doing what they want to whom they want whenever they want. This would be done by having her spout dialog that is meant to show us that instead of actually caring a rat's ass about Françoise, she's only doing this to jerk Anthony and Liz around because she thinks she's better than they are.

Bad Idea Number Two is to establish that the legal system is a system of organized unfairness because it gets in the way of the Pattersons doing what they want to whom they want whenever they want. Proper legal procedure, the rules of evidence, the right other people have to plead their case without intimidation by clannish scum like the Foobs, all of it would be a very bad thing because it doesn't allow entitled vermin to screw people over unmolested.

The fun part is that Lynn's attempts to establish said Very Bad Ideas will backfire on her. For instance, her attempt to turn Thérèse into an evil, hypocritical monster who's only doing this to hurt Anthony and Liz because she's evil and insane and evil because she won't admit that Liz MUST go where she wants, the feelings and fears of other people be damned, will instead make her look like a sane, decent woman trying to protect her child from the crouching, jealous clan of ignoble hicks who treated her like a pariah.

Similarly, her attempt to show us that the court system is filled with people who have no sense of human will remind us that the law is established to protect decent people from having their rights arbitrarily violated by self-serving vermin like John and Elly. Despite the fact that swarming clusters of imbeciles would weep bitter, angry tears because real justice was done and hateful boors punished, the likes of us would be able to take comfort in two things. First off, we'd get to bear witness to yet another attempt to make Anthony look good that made him look even worse than he did before it. Second, we'd have to realize that a real custody hearing would probably be less humiliating to the Pattersons as Anthony's lawyers would probably tell him to play ball or Thérèse's lawyers would surely ram the bat up his arse.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
For all of my talking about how stupid John and Elly are for not exploring the option of sending Mike down to the Boys' and Girls' Club for the summer and saving themselves a crap-load of money, it seems to me that it might be a good thing that they did no such thing. That's because I lost sight of two very important things. The first is that Lynn never did this and since she can't write about anything she never experienced, suggesting that she do so would lead to a baffling mess that demonstrates how little she knows of the world and how much she relies on television to teach her. As by way of example, we have to contend with the fact that the summer camp arc seems to have been ripped directly from old sitcoms and bad TV movies so it's very likely that sending Mike down to one of these would be a kiddy-grade version of the Elly-does-macramé arc in which he "accidentally" creates things designed specifically to outrage and horrify Elly because CHAOS!!!!

The second fact I should have kept in mind is that even when Lynn has experienced something, she draws all the wrong conclusions. The same person who thinks that people who claim to get ahead because they're willing to buckle down and do things that they hate must be cheating and must envy her for her doing a lot of crappy work she's too lazy to review would probably have invited us to take part in another war on straw. This means that not only would nine year old Michael deliberately outrage Elly because he hates her and wants her to be chained to the stove and whatever the Hell lies she tells herself to protect herself from seeing that he has to live in Milborough too, we'd also see a poorly-researched ad hominem attack on modern thinking about children and the arts. Perhaps the horrible woman who didn't realize that the point of totally-not-forcing a only-reluctant-because-she-wanted-to-ruin-Elly's-image Lizzie to participate in an Easter parade she would have gladly took part in if she didn't live to make Elly look bad is to make Elly look competent would be the go-to person encouraging Mike to think of new ways to ruin Elly's reputation.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
One of the most annoying parts of this arc is having to read notes which explain that everything happened exactly as depicted in the strip. Given how implausible most of what we saw is in terms of what we and anyone else who bothers checking the facts know is that it could well be that Lynn simply decided to speculate as to what would happen if the Pattersons decided to send Michael to Vancouver for some reason. If so, there would be no real penalty incurred if she simply admitted "Well, Gang, this never actually happened to me but it seems to me that if it did happen, it would play out like this." After all, you can't see comment after comment about having cameras in houses without expecting that her fans think that she's some sort of genius.

That being said, we have to remember that Lynn sometimes loses sight of what people might object to. Take, as an example, her refusal to scare, anger, alarm and confuse her American readers by pointing out that Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October. She genuinely seems to believe that pointing that out will lead to some nebulous over-reaction. What this tells me is that the same Lynn who thinks that if Americans learn that Turkey Day is on their Columbus Day, they'll drop an H-Bomb or two to make us celebrate on the right day thinks that if her fans find out that she doesn't always take everything from real life, she'll be the victim of a lynch mob.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
Having reviewed the sequence again, it seems to me that I've been a bit unfair to Marian in calling her stupid. After all, she's as baffled by Elly as she is by Mike or Lizzie and what baffles her is wondering if her daughter french-fried her brain huffing solvents or taking hits of the brown acid. Toddler Elly was easy to understand because she thought that the Sun shone out of her butt. Middle School Elly was easy to understand because, having learned that the Sun didn't shine out of her butt, she thought that the Sun was in the process of guttering out and dying and leaving poor Elly lost, alone, ugly, unloved and unlovable. High School Elly was easy to understand because it suddenly because Marian's fault that the Sun was dying and Elly would end up an old maid.

Sadly, nothing Elly has done since she left home seems to have ever made sense to Marian. Oh, she understands that Elly got her MRS because the crazy idiot thinks that when Mother said that a BA degree would come in handy if Mr Right didn't come along right away, she actually meant that Mister Right would never come. What she can't wrap her head around is why Elly mutated from a mildly bossy kid who needed a few years of real life to teach her what her limits were to a horror freak who acts as if she's the star of a really crappy dom-com. What this tells me is that when Mike, Lizzie and April do things that confuse Granny, Marian is wondering if their off-putting behaviour is the result of better foobage through chemistry. In her experience, people don't act as if there's some sort of sinister virus that makes them into sitcom-dialog spouting pod people unless there's some sort of brain-melting controlled substance involved.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
As you might or might not know, Lynn plans to dedicate the 2014 calendar to a look at the teenaged years of Mike, Liz and April. Not only do we have to look forward to a depressing reminder that Lynn has such a poor memory, she no longer remembers what her characters used to look like, we have to endure an even more depressing reminder that John and Elly interact with their children, they always behave as if they're fighting for their lives. When you remember that that paranoid, hysterical imbecile Elly's reaction to Lizzie's entering the terrible twos is to all but give up on being able to control her and that she thinks that Mike's being afraid of coming home to an empty house clearly means that he wants to brick her into the crawl space so she can never leave, her inability to cope with placid children trying to establish an identity that isn't about being an extensiion of Mom and Dad's will is as predictable as her serving heartburn-inducing casseroles.

Also, since John clearly seems to think that whenever he and his children have the least sort of difference of opinion, they're clearly trying to revolt against his legitimate authority and usher in an era of chaos where his opinion is never to be expressed, it's easy to see that dealing with a teenager is going to make his being a gutless, vindictive and self-absorbed tin-pot dictator even worse than it already is.

That being said, it seems to me that this strip in particular explains what most frightens them about their children maturing: their fear that somehow or other, their children will be just more people whom they cannot control. We are, after all, dealing with two people who base their belief that they are the greatest victims in the history of the universe on the fact that people don't do what they want them to do when they want it done. Since they cannot have the god-like absolute control over everyone ever that their pathetic vanity and hateful megalomania make them want, they MUST own horses so as to be compensated for being defeated by everyone ever.

What this all means is that the general public is expected to part with money better spent on food and shelter so that they can be reminded that the people who will end up picking Elly's retirement home for her are terrible because they didn't agree that Mommy and Daddy cannot be questioned ever.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
Of course, we don't need the fact that Lynn had no real idea what to do with April after she stopped being able to write cute kid strips as a reminder that she really doesn't have any idea of what she's doing. The current arc serves that purpose just as well. If you'll allow me, I'd like to list the features common to both Lizzie's Mystery Fever Of Melodrama™ and the shabby way that the Pattersons treated the unfavorite third child.

The first common feature comes to us from the notes; that's because Lynn said that she had never actually had to send a child to hospital with an illness. Since she isn't really all that good at imagining what people do when she never did it, we end up with parents who sit home like uncaring idiots while their sick, frightened child wonders why she's been abandoned. This is like how April thought she was going to end up locked in a dungeon because Lynn couldn't imagine John and Elly actually talking to her. In both cases, Lynn never actually bothered sitting down and wondering what people would do and decided to have them do what she would. Since she doesn't seem to understand the social norms that apply, the result is rather off-putting.

The second commonality proceeds logically from the first; this is because we have Lynn not really understanding what it looks like when Elly acts as if doing the bare minimum to qualify as a decent human being is some sort of heroic sacrifice. It's as annoying to think that Lynn wants us to praise Elly for being a hero for sitting in the waiting room while Lizzie still cries for Mommy as it will be when she declares that Elly "understands' April when she tells her that she's not upset about what she's upset about.

Finally, we have to contend with the fact that Lynn has a strong aversion to having to care about people in genuine need. Whenever the conversation veers towards the subject of sick relatives, Lynn tends to lavish praise on people who don't ask her to feel bad for them. There are two reasons for this appalling tendency of hers. The first is that her own fear or being weak and dependent tends to make her think that people who are weak have somehow committed a crime and thus aren't worthy of her attention. The second is that said awful people are trying to impose on her and make her weaker than they are when they have no right to do so. This means that Lynn has criminalized compassion and empathy because she wants all the sympathy for herself.

The end result of all of this is that she never reused this sort of storyline because she did not get the results she both expected and wanted. Instead of getting letters lavishing sympathy on John and Elly for having to take care of some stupid kid who went and got herself sick, she ended up with a lot of letters that angered and confused her about how sad they were for Lizzie and how angry they were that John and Elly weren't doing enough.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
The fear that people will look askance at them for letting their children have sex out of wedlock isn't the only moral panic that we don't really need April for. As I'm about to demonstrate, Lynn could pander to the cringing dread that most old people have that Facespace will steal their identity and sell it to Doctor No because the dead tree people tell them to fear and hate the scary, evil Interwebs. From what the strip shows us, it isn't just the fear of being suddenly ignorant and irrelevant that makes Lynn herself terrified of the new order. Given that most strips that have her interact with computers follow the following formula:

  1. Elly approaches the machine with a bad attitude.

  2. Elly blows off the advice of people who actually know what they're doing because she hates asking for help.

  3. Elly makes a ridiculous mistake because she's too impatient and stupid to operate a damned can opener let alone a laptop.

  4. Elly loses her shit because she's an impatient idiot with the impulse control of a cranky toddler.

  5. Elly blames the machine for her own stupidity.

  6. We are exhorted to clutch the dumb biddy to our collective bosoms and cry bitter angry tears because evil men have subjected a busy mother with no help and no time to herself to the torment of having to learn something.



we have to remember that her fear of being old and obsolete meshes with her hatred of having to spend more than thirty seconds paying attention to anything. It seems to me that without April, the role of "horrible person who wants to make Elly look foolish" would have to be taken up by John; this would mean that a collection would end up being called "I've got Male" and feature Luddite dumbass Elly screaming at a computer on the cover.
dreadedcandiru2: (Snarky Candiru)
It seems to me that given that we're dealing with a strip of, by and for small-minded, small town housewives who fear and hate the world outside their cage, the elimination of April from the strip would leave a gaping chasm that needs to be filled with things to be afraid of. I'll cover how to fill Elly with fear of the devil computers that require her to learn things in my next entry. What I'm going to cover today is what Lynn would have to do in order to fill up all the time not spent on Elly chasing after a small child and whining about how tied down she is. It seems to me that yesterday's look at how most of why Elly sent her children to Exile Farm was to step on relationships that frightened her makes me think that instead of kid strips, we would have gotten more ranting from Elly about how her children were too close to love interests they barely saw.

This need of Elly's to fret about the terrible possibility of the children not keeping themselves pure would, of course, have nothing to do with their well-being. As this strip clearly indicates, we're meant to think that it's right and proper that a dowdy wallflower who scowled her way through high-school because no one wanted to date a shrill, ignorant twinkie who lived to take everything the wrong way wants to punish the happy people for making her miserable. This need to avenge herself on people she's convinced herself want to destroy her trumps any minor consideration like the well-being of her irrelevant offspring or anything like a fact. The fact of the matter is that despite what she might think, her children would probably have been all right if left alone. A sane person would see that Martha and Rhetta would be two somebodies Mike used to know and not future Mrs Delicate Geniuses.

Lynn is not a sane person. Lynn is a defiant, angry child who never grew up and uses her strip as a club with which to bludgeon people she feels have wronged her. This means that instead of annoying cute kid strips, we'd have ended up watching more of Elly whimpering about the dangers of friendly, polite little girls and clumsy, ham-fisted attempts to imply that someone policed far more strictly than any Patterson ever was is a tramp. Also, we'd have to endure actually having to watch Martha be a fat, desperately lonely divorced mother of two with no immediate prospects so as to punish her for not realizing that Mike was her brain.

This sort of brings me to the real problem with Elly's need to step on relationships. The first part of the problem is that despite there being plenty of good reasons to keep children from rushing head-long into physical love before they're emotionally ready for the consequences, Lynn and her co-cannibals ignore the Hell out of them because they don't care if Tyler is too damned young to be a dad because they're too damned young to be grannies and would lose too much status in the process. The self-serving need to maintain their standing thus marches hand-in-hand with slut-shaming to make it clear that Lynn could have fulfilled her need to slam teenagers without having them people her strip. After all, a lot of teenagers these days say something dangerous when they make horrifying noise about how their mommy parts aren't the exclusive property of whatever man they happen to land.
dreadedcandiru2: (Royally Peeved Candiru)
As we all know by now, [livejournal.com profile] cookie77 recently had occasion to actually discuss her concerns about the Declining Years of the strip with Lynn at a convention in Pittsburgh. It started placidly enough with Lynn making the usual whiny comment about how mean-spirited the comments we make are when our friend tried to lead Lynn to a place she simply did not want to go. Her comments about how the Pattersons themselves had become a group of selfish and unsympathetic jerks dumping all over April elicited the standard snippy comment about how we shouldn't care about how people are treated in something that's just a comic strip. Leaving aside the fact that it turns back into a magic land wherein the characters talk to her when her interlocutors fawn over her like she wants them to, what caught my eye was the thing that made Lynn reveal herself to be the unlikeable, ungrateful incompetent we have all been sickened by; simply put, her right to demonize April was called into question and she hated it. Well, that or she was asked to feel sorry for someone who is in Elly Patterson's way and, well, that clearly is too much to ask of her. Every time the Pattersons want to do something self-serving at the expense of other people, there's April hinting that their excuses are so much rubbish. She's against Liz and Anthony screwing people over so that John and Elly can get the even tighter stranglehold over Gordon that they think having to fulfill the moral obligation of caring for the children they brought into the world entitles them to. She's against casting Jim adrift on an ice floe to be forgotten. She's against Mike bullshitting his way into seizing the Pattermanse so John can play with trains. She's against Elly letting a thief flatter her. She's even against letting Liz fall for Jesse's weak bullshit. Since she's always in the way of the Pattersons acting like swine, defending her is a bad thing because Lynn doesn't see the same vermin we do.

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