The embarrassment-unwitting hypocrisy complex.

[dreadedcandiru2]

One of the least pleasant facts of life in the Patterson's world is the fact that for some reason, that graceless stumblebum Michael stands around with his nose out of joint because Elly does something to "embarrass" him because she somehow hates the idea of his being popular. We've just seen the template recently when he freaks the Hell out because he found out she used to sing in coffee houses when she was a teenager because his slipshod thought-processes had him confuse effect (If my idiot friends found out, they'd never shut their fat yaps about it and also, my social standing would be in the crapper) with cause (she only did that to ensure that his life would be ruined) because he's a vain halfwit who thinks that he's the protagonist of the human drama.

He's also the last one on Earth who should ever be talking about being a public embarrassment. Sure, Elly can be the nut with the sandwich board and she can be the stereotypical sitcom mom who has the kneejerk habit of shaving five years off of her kids' ages and who also doesn't see the point of his impressing kids his own age because they don't pay bills or what-have-you but to my knowledge, she has never been caught trying to spy on girls as they get undressed. What the Mike standing around mortified because his mother reminds his friends of her presence never sees is that most people would find her slightly better company because listening to paranoid whining about being fat and ugly and getting replaced is less painful than enduring Mike's hapless inability to understand the female mind. Of all the clueless men in the world, he's the Michael Pattersoniest......