Aug. 7th, 2007

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It should come as no real surprise that Elly is manifestly unsuited to run any sort of business. Not only does her foul temper get in the way of customer relations and her idiotic dithering mean decisions have to be made while she's not around to procrastinate, she's sort of at sea when it comes to basic business practices. She can't, for instance, balance her checkbook let alone fathom a balance sheet. As for interpreting contracts, she's a wash-out there, too. The person she's 'negotiating' with would wear himself hoarse trying to convince her all the stipulations put there for her protection were necessary. That, of course, is a symptom of the general Pattersonian belief that the law just gets in the way. It's not just her who sees the business world as a nightmarish kaleidoscope of numbers and long, difficult words. Mike was horribly unsuited to helm Portrait. Not only does he need to remove his shoes and socks to count past ten, all the contracts he had to sign might as well have been written in Swahili. Not that he did anything more than skim them before signing them. Trivial decisions take weeks of agonizing debate before the Foobs do anything while important, life-altering decisions are made without bating an eye. Gluttson got rid of the jerk the best way he knew how: he asked him to make a decision. He knew the Delicate Genius would run back to Mommy when he was put on the spot. Liz, too, is an ass. Not only does she not want to protect herself by signing a rental agreement, she's also hazy on what a damage deposit is. She cheerfully repaints her apartments despite the fact she can't do so AND keep get her damage deposit back. By not signing a legal document, she has no means of defending her interests when the landlord has enough of her bullshit and slobbiness and bounces her ass. John's emotional distance from his children has come at a heavy cost; they haven't picked up tips from the lone semi-competent in the household. Their only hope is to do what Mom did and marry someone who knows the ass from their elbows, finance-wise. Mike has and Liz is about to. This is another example of how Elly's hands-off parenting with April pays off for the Martian; she gets to watch Moira do it right.

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