Jumping to stupid conclusions: a Patterson tradition

One of the more annoying habits that the Elly that existed in the first interpretation of Foob history had was that when she was confronted with commonplace things, she almost always jumped to conclusions that flew in the face of common sense. It, for instance, never made any sense to anyone but her that she should have just had a one-night stand with the pushy jerk who claimed that he first noticed her teeth despite his eyes wandering down to her chest; she wound up talking herself into giving up her dreams so as to preserve a reputation that would have remained unsullied if she'd just failed to tell her parents she was sexually active. This also lead her to fail to secure the gate in time to prevent April from almost drowning; she thought that having to endure an afternoon of a child's anger was too high a price to pay for peace of mind. The reload tells us that in-between those to extremes of stupidity, she had some minor sudden unintelligence incidents. A case in point occured on the strip that ran on 11 November 2008. The joke was based on her belief that a puppy could somehow leap over a three-foot-high fence to urinate on her floor and her inability to distinguish said urine from apple juice. It seems odd that Lynn would have us cheer on a woman who doesn't know what's going on around her. If she did, though, we wouldn't have had the Settlepocalypse because she'd tell John to kill Anthony Caine.