Frank, we hardly knew thee.

As we get ready to watch Lynn's version of a funeral ceremony for a starter pet and speculate on how off-puttingly weird she'll make a plain-vanilla story line that seems almost idiot-proof, let's take time to remember how she handled the other send-offs for deceased companion animals. First off, of course, was Farley's death. We never actually saw them bury his remains next to 'his' tree but it's obvious that they put what little caring and thought they had into giving him the most dignified send-off they could come up with because it took his death to make them realize how much he meant to them. Their occasional visits to his tree wherein we saw that he was still with them in spirit were thus reminders that we don't know what we have until we no longer have it. The death of Mister B the rabbit, on the other hand, was less heartwarming. We started with Elly making a ridiculous and revolting speech about sad miracles as she misinterpreted his shivering as a death rattle before shoving him in the freezer for later burial. Lynn followed that chunk of tastelessness by April's immediate adoption of Butterscotch the next day, the transfer of Mister B's remains to Mike's freezer and the contrived dilemma of whether Mrs Saltzmann would violate dietary law by cooking a non-kosher animal. All in all, his remains were not handled in a dignified or tasteful manner. Given the choice between sickening bathos and revolting farce, I'd choose the former; at least if Lynn tries to tug at our heartstrings, she won't fail too badly.