On how bad grades aren't Mike's fault.

As I said the other day, the Michael of the Middle Years is a slightly evolved form of the cement-headed clodhopper who looks like Evil Linus Van Pelt. I've mentioned how he made a sordid, ludicrous mess of his love life being an oblivious twinkie hampered by an obsession with the belief that everyone really wants to tear such an excellent person as him down but I failed to mention why his grades are horrible. Simply put, he adds malingering and procrastination to the fear of humiliation that makes him fear mathematics.

The Mike we're saying good-bye to tends to throw a temper tantrum when confronted with anything he isn't immediately good at and wants very much to not have to endure anything difficult. The one we're about to meet does something Elly does: he looks at something he wants to avoid doing and just plain dodges it in the hopes that someone will do it for him. When this fails, he blames everyone else but himself for letting a lot of easy things that he doesn't like doing pile up into a great big thing no one can do. Since he's as smart and wise as he is pleasant and not-punchable, he pleads the question via various fall guys. His teacher didn't give him more time, Elly forgot to bug him, Lizzie was being a creep, anything that isn't "I am a malingering git who thinks he's too smart for school."