Lynn, war and you: a study in non-thought.

[dreadedcandiru2]

Well, as we’ve seen, Lynn has recently seen fit to share her “There won’t be a nuclear war because it wouldn’t be as fun as a shooting war” strip. Not only do we have to deal with Elly being a very stupid woman who learned little from what her father was telling her about how ugly and horrifying the war was, we had to contend with a chirpy note from Lynn herself that showed us just how little thought Lynn had put into the war. If you’ll allow me, I’d like to translate what Lynn said into something that makes sense to human beings:

Lynn: I have always wondered what it is that makes boys and men want to run around shooting each other, when a really good, moderated argument would resolve almost anything.

DC2: I am an ignorant idealist who won’t see that reasoning with the likes of an Adolf Hitler or a Pol Pot is as futile as trying to stop the Earth from turning and a dull-witted misandrist who thinks that sane men want to unleash the horror, misery and waste of war on the world. All I see when I look at the world are unruly child men who want to play a pointless game that makes the lives of busy mothers harder.

Lynn: My thinking is: If women ruled the world, we'd get the politics over with expediently, thereby saving the civilian population, then do our best to rejuvenate each other's economies by shopping!

DC2: I am a clod who thinks that women are all weak, delicate things who have no violence in their souls and all love shopping for cute shoes.

Lynn: This said by someone who admits to having been a street fighter at the age of five!

DC2: I am a muttonhead who thinks that war is what I see in old movies.

It would be bad enough if this were her only attempt to ‘teach’ us how bad war is. Sadly, we’re in for some pretty warped little strips that don’t come close to sending an appropriate message. The next great example of her “War is a game men start up to make life harder for busy mothers with noooooooo help and noooooooo time to themselves” ethos is this chunk of idiocy in which Mike envies real soldiers because they get to experience the wonders of combat for real. Her intention seems to have been to make Michael look like a naive child who doesn’t know how horrible war is. The problem is that her lousy execution and nebulous thinking have the end result of making him look less like a naive little boy who doesn’t know what he’s talking about and more like a ghoul who gets off on watching people get killed.

The upshot of all of this is that we’re dealing with a very silly woman who really doesn’t understand the issue at hand making sweeping statements that don’t mean what she thinks they do. Or, to put it briefly, we’re dealing with Lynn Johnston.

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As Mabel of Gravity Falls put it, "Boys! Why can't you just learn to hate each other in secret, like girls do?"