On never knowing what Marian actually wanted.

[dreadedcandiru2]

Recently, aprilp_katje linked to a strip that had Elly have no real idea what she would have done with her Bachelor Of Arts degree if she ever bothered getting it. The interesting thing is not that she joins most of the cast in assuming sight unseen that getting married and having kids and getting her degree were mutually exlusive (which is the subject an upcoming look at the collective stupidity of the Patterson family) but that she has no more idea of what she would have done with it than she has any idea of what Marian really expected of her.

The reason for this is that it's easier for Elly to make a self-serving assumption that cast her mother in the most negative light because it spared her the awful burden of having to see her as anything other than a heartless antagonist who yearned to see her feel terrible and ugly and stupid and confused and miserable. To live in the World That Is in which Marian was a fallible human being doing her stupid best instead of the World That Makes Her Feel Good in which Marian was an ogre who loved every minute of busting Elly's ass is a horrible thing because it makes Elly into part of the problem. It's thus simpler for Elly to assume that her awful mother wanted her to die alone and for her grandchildren to never be born because she doesn't want to admit that she should have told John to shove his passive-aggressive huffing and puffing about living in a hooooooome up his God-damned ass, a deal is a God-damned deal.

Comments

[aprilp-katje.livejournal.com]

As with Ursula in real life, I believe that Marian's back story includes a father who fervently opposed the idea of wasting education on girls/women. Despite this lack of support, Marian enlisted in the RCAF and learned how to maintain aircraft, which certainly went against gender stereotypes. I imagine that a woman like this would be aghast that a young woman who has the opportunity to pursue higher education would casually throw that opportunity away, regardless of what career path the course of study would have led to.

[dreadedcandiru2.livejournal.com]

She also might not think especially highly of a son-in-law who regards her having a degree as optional at best and a threat to his alleged manhood at worst. This is possibly why we never saw John and Marian interact at length. She might well have hated him far more than Mira detests Michael.

[aprilp-katje.livejournal.com]

Though in the real-life version of events, I wonder if that was Doug's attitude. Lynn's always made it sound as though she was tired of her school, didn't respect their curriculum, and felt she could launch into her chosen career without completing her degree. It's hard to know what role, if any, Doug would have played in all that. By the time Lynn met Rod, she'd dropped out several years before--and it's unclear as to whether she ever considered going back to school. I'm not convinced Rod would have been opposed to that.

[dreadedcandiru2.livejournal.com]

It must suck to be Rod. I can't imagine having to watch his predecessor's words and attitudes coming out of his avatar's mouth only to be told it's just a comic strip when he complains about how they think he thinks that way was anything like a good thing.

[aprilp-katje.livejournal.com]

I think there's an excellent chance that the words and attitude attributed to John on this topic hadn't come from either husband but from Lynn's fevered imagination. But either way, it would definitely suck to be Rod and have people assume that John's attitude was Rod's.

[dreadedcandiru2.livejournal.com]

What made things worse is Lynn's cheerful (or perhaps tearful given how little she likes the idea of remorse) refusal to admit that her strip had any other effect than making everyone's life better. We are dealing with an idiot narcissist who still thinks her mother hated her and wanted to destroy her and laugh at her misery because she asked the evil, cruel question "How the Hell are you supposed to get better if no one can tell you what you're doing wrong"; it stands to reason that she also thought that the statement "This strip of yours is wrecking our reputation so try to think of us before you do things" actually meant "We hate you and we don't want you to talk."

[aprilp-katje.livejournal.com]

Though at a certain point with Lynn, I'd expect "we don't want you to talk" becomes distressingly true, since when Lynn does talk, she seems allergic to having a filter.

[dreadedcandiru2.livejournal.com]

Because, of course, of her need to not notice what social norms are if they might get in her way.