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As we know, Michael was a bland, boring and incurious child who spent most of his childhood sitting on his ass, tormenting his kid sister, groaning about how he was totally unloved because people actually pursued their own agendas instead of catering to his, being blinded by rage when told to bog off and whining about how people didn't want to recognize how mature and cool he was. His misadventures were not that of some near-mythical figure of mirth but those of a gullible, morose, cement-headed moron who craved attention, lacked the sense to understand when he was being exploited and thought he was far more impressive a figure than he was.
The problem is that empty minds like his own almost always create an idealized past where they're always right and always loved. This is why the Mike of the here and now looks back on a boring and mildly sinister childhood and creates a mythic pseudo-childhood in which he and his fellow scruffy and apathetic non-entities were forces of nature. This is why he simply had to dispossess his parents and kid sister when the alternative of not being a greedy, selfish shnook presented itself. He couldn't bear to think of someone who wasn't a Patterson having fun in his playground.
Now that I've made of him one of the rat bastard idiots who scream about their childhoods being murdered because a toy company, publisher or movie studio chooses to do whatever it likes with its intellectual property, I'd like to tell you what I think the disturbing and ugly result is. Said result is that he's become a Canadian content Ted Forth acting like an in-grown hair because his children are ungrateful and do not wish to live in his childhood. They do not understand his pop culture references, have no interest in voyeurism and other ratfuckery and wonder what the big deal is with a boring ditch where some mutt drowned because Nana Elly is an idiot and their wanting to be individuals angers him....just as his own refusal to be a clone of his equally nostalgia-poisoned father did John.
The problem is that empty minds like his own almost always create an idealized past where they're always right and always loved. This is why the Mike of the here and now looks back on a boring and mildly sinister childhood and creates a mythic pseudo-childhood in which he and his fellow scruffy and apathetic non-entities were forces of nature. This is why he simply had to dispossess his parents and kid sister when the alternative of not being a greedy, selfish shnook presented itself. He couldn't bear to think of someone who wasn't a Patterson having fun in his playground.
Now that I've made of him one of the rat bastard idiots who scream about their childhoods being murdered because a toy company, publisher or movie studio chooses to do whatever it likes with its intellectual property, I'd like to tell you what I think the disturbing and ugly result is. Said result is that he's become a Canadian content Ted Forth acting like an in-grown hair because his children are ungrateful and do not wish to live in his childhood. They do not understand his pop culture references, have no interest in voyeurism and other ratfuckery and wonder what the big deal is with a boring ditch where some mutt drowned because Nana Elly is an idiot and their wanting to be individuals angers him....just as his own refusal to be a clone of his equally nostalgia-poisoned father did John.
