Foobonia and Points West.

Of course, the predictable thing about Mike not really getting the job done is that the Pattersons were so busy focusing on how insensitive he was to realize that having the common decency to care about who the subject of a story is happens to not only be the decent thing to do, it's also good business sense. If you insist on treating people as if they're random carbon blobs who do random unaccountable things merely to irritate or entertain you, no one is actually really going to trust your opinion. Good thing for him that he started wailing about how someone with the power to do something about his being Dick Van Head, Natural Born Shitty Reporter distracted his parents from actually understanding what his major malfunction is.

If that hadn't happened, they might have started to realize that as an observer of the human parade, Michael has the handicap of being a short-sighted mental pigmy who doesn't especially want to know why people do what they do. Why, they might even start to think that someone whose idea of a deep observation is the phrase "And the living buried the dead" was as blind to motivation as the dumb kid whose magnum opus is "Sum kidz wuz lost an'then waz fownd."